Things on my mind these days
I don't have a clever title for this one.
Hi everyone, sorry it’s been a while since I sent a newsletter. It’s a combination of a few things: work, other writing priorities, writer’s block…the usual suspects. I worry about whether I’m just regurgitating things I’ve posted on my main website and on social media, or just racing to have something out there. There’s also the fluctuations in motivation, attention span, and executive function; par for the course when you’re neurodivergent like me. Fun stuff.
I’m a little tired today. It’s a mixture of getting less than six hours of sleep (which I really need to do something about), and a particularly depressing news cycle. Between the war in Ukraine, trans rights being under attack in so many different places, politicians being racist and sexist assholes, and comedians making shitty jokes, I feel an overwhelming powerlessness mixed in with my anger.
It does seem like a lot of fundamentally bad people are winning lately.
Maybe it’s because I see how many people seem to be on the side of authoritarianism, or how quick they would throw people like myself under the bus to elect a politician pandering to their resentments. I know I have a lot of privilege, but there are some days I wonder how precarious my current safety and stability really is.
I turn 40 on Saturday, and for the first time in four years, I’m celebrating with other people; of course, I probably jinxed it by announcing it (the threat of COVID looms), but it’s nice to make plans with other people, and I figure I need to mark the milestone somehow. I’m doing the main event the day of my birthday, but for those who can’t stay out long or late, I’m also having drinks after work the day before. I’m also thinking of doing a Zoom/Google/Facebook (one or the other) event for people who aren’t local to Halifax (maybe late afternoon/early evening?).
I’m glad to be doing much better than I was ten years ago; at the time, I was unemployed and still living at my parents’ place. I had deliberately booked a trip to Halifax to visit friends and look for jobs around this time, with an overnight stop in Moncton on the way home. There was the whole practical aspect of the trip, but the main reason I booked it to give myself a bit of a treat for an otherwise depressing birthday.
I don’t think I had any idea how much better 40 would be.
I’ve been thinking a lot about writing and how to use my online presence lately. I want to get in the habit of sending these things more regularly, and just let myself write more about what’s on my mind or anything happening in my life at a given time, no matter how insignificant. I still want to put some of my writing on the main site, but I’m leaning more towards writing longer essays or creative non-fiction there (as well as, of course, the sketch comedy reviews).
Other than that, I don’t really have any big plans, either in terms of writing or other adventures.